Jess: I just finished talking to you, like, five minutes ago, but you should comment on my blogs.
Ha! I'm still reading over my old blogs... here's one from right after the procedure to see what it was in my chest. I was drugged at the time. Here's the entry:
"...Yay for drug.s
No, seriusely, I'm feeling fien....
It's timme to go get some fud."
I love it. I'll be back later...
Scary Movie 3 was hillarious! Hell of a spoof, if there's such a thing as a "good spoof." It even threw in a reference to Airplane... which almost no one else in the theater got except me. I think the lady behind me was the only other person who understood it... she was the only other person who laughed. Meh...
It was a good movie.
You know, as I read over the old blogs I realized how much time Jess and I spend together. I'm amazed that we're not sick of eachother by now! Not really...
Today looks promising. Not really... I'm going to help take the shit down at Westhaven. That's it. Maybe I'll hang out with Justin too. I'll have to remember to give him the deck. Yes...
It's almost 2:00 A.M. I should go to bed.
After reading all those blogs... I realized how meaningless they can be... and then, shortly after, I realized how meaningFUL they can be.
However, I'm done with the sappiness. I know, without a doubt, that I love Jess, and that I love her for who she is, NOT for what I can get. I know she loves me. Maybe I will call her tomorrow night. I don't know. Let me know if you'd like me to call, babe. If I don't get an email or a comment here on the blog, I'll let you alone until Monday.
As I reread each blog in particular, I can remember everything. Not ONLY do I remember putting the blogs down... but I can remember the feelings... the frustration with Allen... the love for Jess... the masked hatred for myself, even. It's good that I can see it now... it means that it's passed.
*sigh* I wonder if I'll forget this blog... and, some time in the future, I'll say "hey, I'm gonna look over the blogs now," and come and read this. I wonder what will happen between now and then, that I don't know of now but I will when I read this. Meh... I guess I'll find out, eh? Come, future, come and get me... right after I get some sleep.
11:44... whew!
I guess I can eat supper now.
A while ago, I went back and read all my old internet convorsations with Jess. It was heartwarming, in a way... to look back at that time... it's amazing compared to the now. Some things came true... some things didn't come true...
Now I'm looking back at all my blogs from July.
Ok, I'm adding this comment almost an hour later, but that's ok. I was reading over the old blogs, Jess, and I realized that it was NOT the 22nd when we started officially dating... it was the 29th. It was THREE weeks between July 8th and when it was official, not two... that's why it seemed so long to me.
I look back, and I see how happy I was when Jess and I weren't nearly as physical. It almost makes me want to cry. I love Jess... I hope I haven't been taking her for granted. No, actually, I'm not worried about that. Our relationship isn't based off of physicality... but physicality is "loads" of fun. I love her... I love her so much. That's right. Even if this week WAS "the week..." It wouldn't matter. I look back at what I was saying... here's a passage:
"...At Justin's party, Jess and I were close, you know... she was in my arms. And, she fell asleep... and as she was sleeping in my arms, I got this whole sense of... well, peace. Of love... I mean... if Jess can fall asleep in my arms... there's got to be some deeper, more real sense of love and trust there. I remember feeling in awe... it was something I haven't felt in a long time... if I've ever felt it before at all. Jess makes me so happy... and she says that everything feels right when we're together. I don't remember feeling like this... not with Kristy or Tricia or anyone..."
I feel it. I can fall asleep with Jess in my arms. We can both sleep like that, in utter peace. I... I love Jess.
Sry you were finally in the mood at the theater, babe. I guess that's why I'm staying up, eh?
Exciting day.
I got up and sat around for four hours. As I said, I finished Justin's Mercenary/Minion deck.
Then Jess came over. Wow.
We watched "Labyrinth." No, seriously... we really watched the movie this time. Crazy, huh?
After that my parents left. I had the understanding that they were shopping AND going out to eat. No... just shopping. They walked in at the worst time possible. She was... uh...
. o O ( how do I say "naked from the waste down" in a subtle way? )
...well, it doesn't matter. With Jess and my combined EXTREME skills, we redressed her and my parents were none the wiser. Seriously... they were in the room the entire time, doing something with the fish tank. Man, it was awkward... I was sure they suspected something, but if they did, it would have been a lot quieter and more awkward than it was. The car ride home wasn't even that bad. I don't think they have a clue. *Thumbs up to Jess!* That means they won't hesitate to leave us alone in the future. We will, however, be more careful. I'll just be sure as to what my parents are actually doing next time.
One more thing about that... my parents are ANYTHING, but they are definately not stupid. I guess they just aren't very perceptive, either.
Damn, that sux. They had to come back, didn't they. After I... damn them. Well, what is meant to happen will happen, of that I'm sure. I guess it wasn't meant to happen today, eh? Hmmm... what am I going to do tomorrow...
In fact... what am I gonna do until 11:30? Just sit around? *sigh* I dunno.
I change things around every few months because, like I said, I despise routine. Just let me do my thing, ok? Ok.
Finally finished the Mercenary/Minion deck that Justin wanted. I sorted my cards today, because I was bored, and I found a bunch of new mercenaries and minions, so I realized I had enough at that point to make a deck out of them.
That's it.
Yeah. Today was... interesting.
Went to Jess's house, first of all. We watched the second half of IT. Well, really, we watched the first half of the second half of it. Then she got distracted...
I won't really hold you to it, by the way... but go for it, none the less.
We had the show. It went a lot better than last night, a whole lot better. Didn't have a very good turnout, though.
The cast party was alright. Didn't last very long, as you can see by the time on this post. I choked on a TicTac after Natalie said something about blowing up a bee with napalm. While Emily and Mary and everyone was worried about me choking, Jess was over there making a damn cookie. Damn you!
We're seeing Scary Movie 3 tomorrow, and probably hanging out before that. That's three out of four days of break we've hung out... plus after school on wednesday. I love every second I'm with Jess... except when I'm choking on a TicTac.
After a giant rat ate my wife, I taught Gweneth Paltrow to fly. I think it would have been funnier if Gweneth Paltrow ate my wife and I taught a giant rat to fly...
Hung out with the boys today. Played "boom-boom" down at nature park. I ended getting a bunch of stupid little barbs stuck in my back for the whole day. I think a few of 'em are still lingering back there... the problem is, they're so small that no one knows where they are except me... and I only know that because the pain let's me know their location.
After "boom-boom," I ended up hanging around at my house until the show. My cast-mates got the privelage of hearing me complain about these stupid barbs.
Those little fuckers...
Jess and I hung out after the show. We came to my house. Jess felt it was necessary to watch a scary movie, so we watched the first half of IT. We'll finish it tomorrow.
Allen called at some point too... I don't know what he wanted.
Well, Jess and I are hanging out tomorrow too. We're going to see Scary Movie 3. At least, that's the plan right now.
Allen, all I said was "You knew Jess and I were hanging out today." I didn't accuse you of anything.
And I said that because I THOUGHT I had put it on my blog, but I guess not.
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